Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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