Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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